Really Cherry Limeaide? Really?

It's hard to remember everything that everyone tells you to "look out for."  Things that wheat can hide in, things that you would think are safe but somehow this secret ingredient slips in that makes these wheat-turd kids flip their lids and puke all night. 

And now that I think about it, I think someone might have warned me that juice was one of those tricky things that wheat can hide in. 

Thing is, I don't normally buy juice. 

Maybe once every 2-3 months I might buy a carton of juice for the kids.  We advocate water around here to quench thirst.  Soda is a special item that happens on the rare occasion that we go somewhere to eat, or we happen to have some root beer in the fridge--and root beer, I'm told, is another one of those things that wheat can hide in. 

Normally when I do buy juice we get something odd and something 100%.  Last one was watermelon juice, because I thought it sounded neat.  This time without really thinking, I grabbed a cherry limeaide. 

And he threw up.  All fucking night. 

He'd also had some of these amazing gluten free pretzels that day, and it could also be possible that he reached over to Ty's plate and ate a non gluten free pretzel.  But he's generally aware of the fact that Ty's food isn't always safe for him, and piggy as he may be he doesn't generally steal from other people's plates.  (He does, however, finish people's foods that are left behind if they give him permission to do so.) 

I looked at the Minute Maid Cherry Limeaide and found that yeppers, it lists "Natural flavoring." 

Mmm, the flavor of wheat? 

Fucking Limeaide. 

So fair warning, you have to check juice now too. 

Good luck. 

Gluten And Fevers?

So Wade's all of the sudden down with a fever after we switched oatmeal brands.  Is it related? 

He came out this morning complaining of a headache, and he was all heartbroken over this.  When Wade is sick or sad, the whole world is sick and sad with him.  In fact, Wade being sick is pretty much the saddest thing in the world. 

The question is whether it is in fact food related or if he's just caught something.  It's hard to tell with Wade, especially since I recall switching oatmeal brands just yesterday. 

At this point we're going with a liquid child's pain reliever (acetaminophen based) and a teddy bear.  I doubt he's dehydrated, the kid drinks gallons of water every day--full on chugs it.  Opens his neck up and just GULPS. 

I tend to think it's the oatmeal.  Then again, googling "gluten and fevers" leads to several different results. 

I think this whole celiac thing is pretty much an inexact science and nobody knows shit about it, is what I think. 

There's Been A Glutening

Sadly, Wade has thrown up twice now, both times after having gluten free macaroni for dinner.  It's very sad, and he's okay now, but I'm rather upset because these gluten free elbows were bought in bulk at Winco and I suspect that someone wasn't doing their job right and mixed the regular noodles in the bin with the Wade-friendly ones.  (The bulk bins are self serve--scoop and bag, self labeling.)

We've hooked up an awesome mac n' cheese recipe for Wade as follows:

Gluten Free Mac N' Cheese

1 1/4 cup gluten free macaroni
1/4 cup cheese powder
1/4 cup almond milk
4 tbsp. margarine

And it's great because those noodles are a little over a buck a pound, so buying 10 pounds of the stuff will last a month if not longer.  Now we've got a bag of tainted noodles that we can't use!  And Winco isn't exactly close by. 

So I call Winco.  Oh god.  Some lady with an accent answers and I ask to speak to the manager and she says "What are you griping about?"

"I'm sorry, what?"

"What are you griping about today?"

"What am I what?"

"Griping.  What are you calling to gripe for today?" 

I'm maybe thinking English isn't her first language and she doesn't quite have the right word in place.  Anyway, she tells me that she is the person in charge (I don't know if that was true) and I told her that I suspect someone in the bulk department switched the noodles because my son is having allergic reactions and she was like "Oh.  Oh.  Oh.  I'm sorry.  Okay.  Um...Just bring them back, okay?"

I'm not really sure if my message got across. 

Good gluten free macaroni that we have tried and had success with is Annie's Homegrown Gluten Free Mac & Cheese.  It's made from rice pasta, which is excellent in my book, except that it also does the weird rice pasta slimy water thing when it cooks but it evens out at the end. 

Trouble is Annie's is not cheap and it's somewhere around $4 a box.  The bulk elbow noodles were kind of a staple for Wade since he's not into rice.  I can't really do bulk Annie's and get the same amount of gluten free elbows that I was getting for the price I was getting them at, and I'm worried about ever buying the bulk noodles again. 

Was it a fluke though?  Was this a one time accidental thing? 

See, speaking of flukes we thought maybe Wade's allergy was a fluke because he demolished a gingerbread house about 3/4 of the way before David caught him and had no ill effects that we knew of.  No barf, no runny poop that we know of, and we thought "huh." 

But then he barfed up this mac n' cheese and it's like...what do we do? 

What is your opinion?  Should I buy the bulk gluten free macaroni again or should I avoid it now? 

Poor Man's Gluten Free Bread Substitute

Sorry for my absence.  I've been editing a MASS amount of pictures and I'm just now able to get the time to update any of my auxiliary blogs.  I also owe a gluten free pizza crust mix post to you and I will deliver it.

But for now, let's think back on that Bob's Red Mill Gluten Free Bread Mix I raved about in October.  Tasty is it?  Yes.  Cheap however?  Hell no.  Depending on where I can find the stuff, $5-$7 is way too much to pay for bread, even if it is just for one little gluten free guy.  Especially since we started finding that the bread would start to mold in just 2-3 days sometimes.  And yes, keeping it in the freezer is an option but again, see price.

Now, it was rather convenient that David happened to find a gluten free bread in the mark down bin at Stater's that we'd never seen before in our lives.  Food For Life Brown Rice Bread.  It says that it is wheat and gluten free and even sweetened.  The Food For Life Baking Co., Inc (located in Corona, CA) says:

This unique bread is designed to meet the needs of those who are not able to tolerate wheat or gluten.  

Ingredients include brown rice flour, filtered water, fruit juice concentrate (pineapple, peach and pear,) tapioca flour, safflower oil, yeast, xanthan and cellulose gum, rice bran, and sea salt.

It also warns that the facility that it is processed in also handles tree nuts.

As for taste, Wade says it's good but it's kind of hard--though that might be a result of it being slightly old, but it doesn't even have a date on it.  One of those mysteries of life I guess.  Perhaps this would be better for toast and grilled cheese.

Another alternative to bread that we've discovered, and it's sort of the "poor man's" gluten free bread substitute is corn tortillas.  We don't even do them "wrap" style, we actually just put everything between two tortillas and call it a super flat sandwich.  We've totally pan fried ham and (light) cheese, peanut butter and banana, or he can just eat it raw.

They come about 100 to a pack and they're anywhere from $0.50 to $3.  And he's not complaining.

The Gluten Free Wonderful Bread is nice, and I don't want to totally knock it, but for the price and for how it doesn't seem to last long, I think the corn tortillas do the trick for now.

By the way, have you seen the pretzel filled M&M's?  And there's no real way to tell them from regular non deadly M&M's.  This is a glutening waiting to happen to some poor kid.  Talk about death by chocolate.

Why Miss Lemon Lime Is Awesome

This is a great story that I just had to share...

I went to Wade's parent-teacher conference, and she told me the funniest thing.  In October the class went on a field trip to the pumpkin patch, and while we had packed a special lunch for Wade, they left it at school because nobody else had lunches and Mrs. Miss Lemon Lime didn't think there would be time to sit and eat anyway. 

And then someone broke out some cookies to share for a snack. 

"OH NO!" Miss Lemon Lime says, "Wade can't eat those!" 

So she sent one of the parents to the store to go buy Wade a gluten free snack, while her and Wade went off on their own little excursion by themselves so that Wade didn't see everyone else eating cookies and feel all excluded.  And yes, the parent returned with PRETZELS!

"HE CAN"T EAT THOSE!!!" she exclaimed.  So she went to plan B. 

Miss Lemon Lime quietly ushered Wade into her car and they drove to the store together to buy Skittles.  So while the other kids were doing whatever you do at a pumpkin patch, Wade was off at the store with his teacher. 

Was it totally legal for her to drive off with him like that?  Oh, I'm sure it's frowned upon.  But the fact that she went out of her way to get him a gluten free snack just makes me smile.  She's so darn cute, I just want to punch her or something, I don't know. 

And the best part is that Wade never mentioned ANY of this to us.  This is the kid who we ask how school went and he answers "Uh, I don't remember."

This made me laugh.  Best parent-teacher conference ever. 

What's Up With Coconut Milk?

New favorite!  You have got to try Almond Breeze Dark Chcoolate milk.  I've been hooked on almond milk since I decided that soy was slimy feeling and rice tasted like paper, but now they're selling Dark Chocolate in the refrigerated section at the store.  They also have regular Almond Breeze Chocolate Milk in the 32 oz boxes that you buy from the shelf unrefrigerated, but the dark chocolate is NOM! 

It literally tastes like the leftover milk from a bowl of Cocoa Pebbles, which for all intents and purposes is also gluten free as Post's official statement on the glutenosity of their cereals is "if the ingredients do not say wheat, barley, oats or rye, it's gluten free."  (Cross contamination is still a possibility so take the regular precautions with this one.)

So anyways, as much as I love Almond breeze (and Silk's version which is called Pure Almond,) I did notice that Turtle Mountain is also refrigerating a new lactose free alternative:  So Delicious Coconut Milk. 

I've seen So Delicious around for a while, as they also make a delicious soy based ice cream sandwich.  And about two months ago, I noticed coconut milk based So Delicious ice cream products.  But now they're selling this stuff as a milk alternative for the anti-milk crowd, and I'm a little bit concerned about it for one reason. 

Isn't coconut milk mother nature's laxative? 

Coconut milk is well known for its use in aiding constipation, as coconut products have laxative effects.  I personally avoid milk because it causes me to have horrible diarrhea, stomach cramps, and vomiting.  Even Lactaid causes me to barf, as I found out last Christmas with the Lactaid-Nog.  So the idea of switching to something that's also going to give me the runs is not my cuppa. 

Turtle Mountain's website says this about their coconut milk:

NEW! The world's first (that we know of) coconut milk beverage is now So Delicious!
Slide over soy milk and move over dairy milk, something new and exciting is coming to the milk aisle, So Delicious® Coconut Milk Beverage! Enjoy it on cereal, in coffee, in recipes or just in a tall glass. One sip and you will say, "Wow, that is So Delicious!"

• Dairy Free / Lactose Free
• Soy Free
• Gluten Free
• Rich in Medium Chain Fatty Acids
• Excellent Source of Vitamin B12 (vegetarian friendly)
• Formulated for Maximum Calcium Absorption
• Cholesterol Free
• No Trans Fats
• Certified Vegan

 Great.  But I'm scared.  I'm wondering if anyone has tried this? 

Looking around the internet at reviews, I'm hearing that it tastes great.  The vanilla version is slightly sweet with a hint of coconut, and the plain version isn't very fragrant or coconutty at all.  Both are said to be smooth and without funky aftertaste.  It is also surprisingly similar to real whole milk, which is why I prefer the almond milk because it is more milky to me than rice or soy. 

So we know how it goes down, but how does it come out?  Does it give us the milk turds?  What's the deal?  All I see are screamingly positive reviews about the act of drinking it and how it can be used, but does it still do that thing that coconut milk does so well?  That's what I'd like to know!

I'm far too burned to potentially give myself the runs by trying this product.  But if anyone who has tried it, whether they liked the taste or not, would please let me know if it subsequently lived up to its name "mother nature's laxative," I'd be interested to hear your story.  Not too detailed, of course.  A simple "it made me crap for days" would be fine. 

Gluten Free Halloween Candy

Halloween was pretty fun this year, lots of candy, but naturally when we got back we had to dig through and find all of the gluten free stuff that Wade could have. 

Hat tip to the Skittles people. Thanks for being awesome. 

Anyway, I found a 2010 list of the Halloween candies that are gluten free.  The more shockingly gluten free candies I found on the list are Butterfinger, Jelly Bellies, and Peeps.  Seems like everything has malt-o-something or "natural flavoring" these days.  Thanks to all candymakers who offer gluten free goodies. 

*please note that not every candy on the list is processed in a gluten free facility.